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Paper Trails Wait! It can't be 1999 already
Date: 1/1/99
Category: Features
Page: E8
Carrie Rengers
Another year? Did anyone even have time for last year's resolutions? A quick check shows
that, no, most people did not. Gov. Mike Huckabee: The governor achieved his boating goal for the third year in a row when he traveled the Arkansas River from Fort Smith to the Mississippi River, but he didn't do as well with his hunting and fishing goals. Those are on his list again along with a new resolution: "To trust God more and people less."
Jennings Osborne: Surely no one doubted that the Christmas-light king would reach his goal, which was to make Arkansas brighter. He did it with fireworks and 12 new sites on his 32-site tour of lights, which now includes the Governor's Mansion and Arkansas Children's Hospital. Arkansas may not be the biggest state in the union, but if Osborne has his way, one day it will be the brightest. Personally, Osborne's goal is a bit smaller -- literally. He's lost 15 pounds in the last month and hopes to keep shrinking in the new year. "I'm on toast and tuna fish," he says, "and I actually like it."
Craig O'Neill: Last year, the KURB-FM, 98.5, disc jockey resolved "to cut down on my bloopers, to quit ignoring the IRS and to use more better grammar." He reports that "I am now paying taxes, and I think the government needs to know that." He adds, "My English teachers have moved out of state ... so the grammar question is no longer an issue." As for the bloopers, O'Neill says they "have now become probably the most entertaining part of the show, so they're still in." In the new year, the Razorback play-by-play announcer says -- and perhaps only avid fans will understand this -- he is resolving "while in social situations such as church, staff meetings and fine restaurants, to restrain myself from standing up and yelling, 'It's an Arkansas Razorback ... first down!"'
Webb Hubbell: He wasn't available for comment, but outside observation suggests Hubbell did not achieve his 1998 goal, which was to run a marathon by the end of the year. Last year, Hubbell remarked that he had gained and lost a human being in his lifetime but that neither that nor his bad knees would daunt him. Perhaps not, but Ken Starr might have. The independent counsel is keeping Hubbell and his lawyers busy, so the marathon may have to wait another year.
Dr. Joycelyn Elders: "It's the same," Elders says of her perennial resolution. "My new year's resolution is, I'm going to lose weight." This year, though, "That's absolute." How can Elders be so sure those pounds finally will come off? Since her retirement in July, Elders has learned how to bike and swim. "I'm just going to work on these two," she says. Her husband "drags me out of bed every morning." Elders shares a secret, though. "I still pretend that I'm making him drag me out of bed, but I really want to go."
Bill Valentine: Arkansas Traveler fans who hoped for pickles or relish on the condiment stand last year -- as the general manager resolved to think about adding -- were disappointed. Valentine did relent and add ketchup, but he refused the relish. This year, he says, "I resolve not to raise any prices for the 1999 season -- maybe."
Connie Fails: Forgiveness was at the heart of this designer and presidential friend's resolution last year. "You can imagine that I had a year where I had lots of opportunity to work on that, and I had good friends who set good examples," she says. For the new year, Fails plans "a deep breath and more prayer."
Patti Upton: The Aromatique founder meant to exercise more last year, but it didn't happen. This year, with a new fitness center nearby, her resolve will have some help. "I wasn't too good about exercising last year, but I have no excuse [this year] because I have the Red Apple Fitness Center whether I like it or not."
Tommy Robinson: Robinson is reminded of his resolution -- which is not actually his resolution -- every day. "I'm just over here dodging potholes in eastern Arkansas," he says. "I wish that probably for the first time ever that the Arkansas Legislature and the governor would work in a bipartisan way for the betterment of the people of Arkansas ... to help us out with roads and education and tax relief. "That's what I really want."
John Wesley Hall Jr.: When last we checked with Hall, he was still working on 1994/s resolution to stop procrastinating. "I'm still running about four years behind," he said. In 1998, he caught up. That was thanks to 1 6-hour days and working weekends, which will continue until July, at which time his goal of a day off should be met. Until then, Hall is reminded of a needlepoint his mother did for him that reads, "All work and no play makes John a dead lawyer."
Carol Pate: So what does 1999 have in store for Arkansans? The state's most well-known psychic suggests things won't get much better than 1998. "Last year was the year of exposure," she says. "All things hidden would be revealed." Some, in fact, are still revealing themselves. "This year," Pate says, "is going to be the year of indictment, and it's going to be across the board. Those that were exposed, if they didn't learn from it, they will be indicted." And she's not just talking politics, Pate says. Happily, Pate predicts many technological and medical breakthroughs, though she also sees "a lot of volcanic activity, unfortunately. It's a wake-up call."
HOTTIP? QUIRKYSTORY?LIVELYTALE? Call Carrie Rengers at 378-3892 or e-mail her at: carrie_rengers@adg.ardemgaz.com
Cutlines: Special to the Democrat-Gazette/PAT PATTERSON
Christmas-light king Jennings Osborne achieved his goal of making Arkansas brighter with 12 new sites in his 32-site light tour, including this one in Jonesboro memorializing the teacher and four students killed in last year's school shooting.
Webb Hubbell: Not the typical marathon runner.
When this photograph was taken at this time last year, the former U.S. surgeon general didn't know how to swim or bike. Now, the retired Joycelyn Elders does both regularly. So next year at this time, you should see 20 pounds less of her.
Pate's prediction: Psychic Carol Pate suggests Arkansans resolve to be good because 1999 will be the year of indictments -- and not just for politicians. |
Here's script for 1999 Trouble for Bill, Mike
Date: 1/2/99
Category: Editorial
Page: B9
JOHN BRUMMETT
Since it's the thing to do, a few predictions for 1999, if you please. Be aware that I tend to get
two or three of these right each year. Bill Clinton will be censured shortly after a trial begins, but will never admit to perjury. Boyishly buoyed, he will proceed to get caught screwing up something else. Tim Hutchinson will be glad he won't have to vote on removing or not removing Clinton. Asa Hutchinson will not have the good grace to step down as a House manager of the prosecution on the basis that his brother is a juror.
Hillary Clinton will warm to the idea of running for the U.S. Senate in 2000 in New York for the seat Daniel Patrick Moynihan will vacate, so long as Bill promises not to follow her. In that regard, it will be announced that rich liberals, including entertainment industry moguls, have chipped in $50 million for Clinton's library here in the Rock.
The Alltel Arena will open with instructions for no one to sit in one section until a beam can be relocated, and it'll hardly matter since neither hockey nor Wimp's Trojans will come close to filling the place. Monica Lewinsky's book will be horrible and few people will read it, though her signings will be well attended by giggling frat boys.
Dan Quayle, vapid darling of the religious right, will emerge as Texas Gov. George W. Bush's chief rival for the Republican presidential nomination. I'm not kidding. The Republicans need to bottom out before they can get better, and Quayle as the standard-bearer would get them to the bottom in one fell swoop.
You'll hear more grumbling about A1 Gore, about how maybe Democrats ought to take a look at John Kerry of Massachusetts, who is marginally better looking and marginally less wooden, for their presidential nomination. The prospect of Quayle vs. Kerry will make Clinton look good. Gore vs. Bush doesn't exactly make him look bad.
By the end of the year I will have committed to memory the name of the speaker of the House. The Denver Broncos will win the Super Bowl again because they are still the best team and the Minnesota Vikings aren't really all that good.
The NBA will salvage the season in time for Michael Jordan to retire and Scottie Pippen to sign with the Suns or the Lakers, and the Bulls to slip to under .500. As for the Razorback basketballers, the tall Jennings youngster from Bald Knob will not get significantly tougher until next season. The Hood youngster will get a lot of offensive rebounds, but not put a high percentage of them back for buckets. The Reid youngster will skirt about the floor with dazzling quickness, but that'll be about it. Pat Bradley will make a lot of long shots and carry the team to several victories.
The football Razorbacks will be overrated in the pre-season and lose two or three games because of inexperience in the offensive line, which, as you know, is where football games are won and lost. With three losses, they'll spend the first day of 2000 in Dallas at the Cotton Bowl against, oh, the Horns or the Aggies. There'll be a lot of nostalgia articles.
Jennings Osborne will light up stuff and get good press from reporters to whom he feeds barbecue.
Mike Huckabee will be found in Pulaski County Chancery Court to have violated the state Constitution in his abuse of a Governor's Mansion expense account, but will win on appeal to the Arkansas Supreme Court, which will find a way to overturn the lower court since the state Legislature will already have taken away Huckabee's slush fund anyway.
Janet Huckabee will challenge me to a game of one-on-one basketball at the Mansion. I will accept. She will get hit with an early "T" when she slugs me after I call her "Sugar Button." Then, leading nine baskets to none, she will foul out altogether after I tell her she's got the sconces in the wrong place and has decorating skills befitting a double-wide.
The legislative session will be dictated by the state Senate, thank goodness. The House will be unproductive because of term limits. The governor's of fice will be unproductive because of who's in it. Over the impassioned objections of children's advocates, the Legislature will pass a bill giving prosecutors the right to use their judgment about whether to treat a child as an adult in murder cases. The Legislature will not do enough in property tax changes to satisfy the right-wing kooks hell-bent on doing away with the property tax.
Some kind of weight-distance tax on big trucks will be passed by the Legislature, and the Highway Commission will compound the hit on big trucks by winning federal approval for a toll booth on Interstate 40 between Little Rock and Memphis. Sadly, truckers' threats to avoid the state will prove hollow.
Mark McGwire will hit between 55 and 60 homers, but Sammie Sosa will hit only 25, though for a high average, maybe .350 or better.
I hate to say it, but the economy is going to turn down a little bit, and people will overreact and make it even worse. The economy is mainly attitude, you know.
John Brummett's column appears every Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday.
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'Quick, to the Batcave, Robin!'
Date: 1/3/99
Category: Editorial
Page: J4
Paul Greenberg What was that about a ladder to speed the governor in and out of his of fice at the state Capitol? Of course the Guv nixed it. It should have been a batpole. Like the one used by Bruce Wayne, weaIthy socialite, and Dick Grayson, his youthful ward. Every governor needs a secret exit of his own. Or rather one of our own. Since the taxpayers were going to pay for the two-by-sixes to construct a ladder from--no, not stately Wayne Manor--but from the Governor's Of fice on the second floor of the state Capitol to a quick getaway downstairs, doubtless in the Batmobile. But now the Guv, that wimp, has nixed the most important and useful architectural innovation at the Capitol since Bill McCuen's disco-dome.
Hell's bells, hooray and aw shucks. It sounded like fun. And good copy. Think of the headlines the first time the Guv got wedged in the thing. They'd have to call the Fire Department. Or put him on another crash diet. The poor man would have had to cut down on them tax-paid tacos if he hoped to acquire the caped crusaders' sliding savoir faire.
We at the paper wouldn't have advised our old colleague Rex Nelson, the governor's man in PR, to try the secret passageway. That old abandoned dumbwaiter shaft sounds as if it would have been a lot easier to get into than out of, like a lot of embarrassments that Rex is called on to explain.
It's a shame the plan was dropped. This simple new, tax-paid escape route would have obviated the need for Mike Huckabee, cheery chief executive and Man of the People, to mingle with the masses and, even lower, those inky wretches given to hurling questions at him as he makes his way in and out of the of fice. Instead, the Guv could have just slithered down the ol' batpole and been on his way. Holy Unaccountability to Press & Public!
Think of what wonders the Guv's new Bat persona could have done for his all-too-preachy rhetoric. Instead of being sandbagged by Satan up there at the Capitol, he'd liken his adversaries to the Joker, the Riddler, the Penguin, the Catwoman . . . The Ledge is just full of characters waiting to fit those roles. The secretary of state could have ordered the appropriate costumes from the East. The Guv himself could have sported a utility belt--if Jim Argue didn't file an objection. Only the niggling would have pointed out that the Capitol hardly needs a Bruce Wayne on the premises when it already has a Rockefeller.
What a wonderful, comic-strip world the Capitol could have been. At critical times Commissioner Gordon, or rather Director Tom Mars, would turn on the Bat-Signal (funded by Jennings Osborne) and summon the Guv to the rescue. Any dispute over the constitutional propriety of installing a Bat-Signal at State Police Headquarters would have been minor compared to the unseemly seasonal squabble over the Creche.
The batpole could have been just a beginning. I'm still for it. Honest. A state Capitol can't have enough escape hatches in an emergency, especially in this less than civil era. They go with the escape clauses in the legislation. You can never tell when those hood-thumpin' clods from ACORN might come calling again. Between the batpole and the Batmobile, any protesters would soon be left in the dust.
What's the use of being governor if you can't have a little fun? Imagine taking the kids down the batpole for the first time. The Guv might not have been able to get First Tomboy to use any other route; she'd be shinnying up and down that contraption, knife between teeth and popping bubbles like mad at the same time, quicker'n you can say DC Comics.
The possibilities are endless. And there's still time to install a batpole somewhere official. Get those well-trained legal eagles on the Guv's staff to convert the Governor's Mansion to stately--and privately owned!--Wayne Manor, and those pesky legislators would have no reason to interfere with the Mansion Fund. The next time they raised a ruckus over a little publicly
financed pantyhose . . . Biff! Pow! Whap!
Think of all the political advantages for the governor of a simple little costume change from blue serge to blue cape. The next time he drew a particularly edgy question on "Ask the Governor," he could leap forward and, in that best Radio Days voice of his, intone: "How will Batman escape? To be continued next week, same Bat time, same Bat channel!" Organ music up.
The emergency batpole, like the emergency clause in all those tax bills up at the Capitol, could be used routinely. Think of the healthful exercise. Think of surprising your friends and, even better, your enemies. It's a kid's dream, and a grown-up's, too.
A confession: I'd like to try the thing myself. Pretty please, Guv. It would be our secret. I wouldn't tell anybody except readers. Maybe the batpole could be included on those little guided tours of the Capitol, right after the explanation of all those faded portraits and just before the visit to the souvenir stand. The kids would love it. Think of the revenue from the sales of Batmasks and capes at the information desk . . . And that would be only the beginning. This is, after all, still the Wonder State, the Land of Opportunity, where nothing is impossible, except maybe keeping a secret.
But the line must be drawn somewhere. Sorry to disappoint, but we really couldn't have a butler like Alfred on the public payroll. Sorry about that, but in these times of political correctness, employment opportunities for aging white males must be strictly limited.
Paul Greenberg is the Pulitzer Prize-winning editorial page editor of the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette. |
LETTERS
Date: 1/6/99
Category: Editorial
Page: B5
Is history now repeating itself?
Andrew Johnson became president after the assassination of Abraham Lincoln. To him fell the enormous task of bringing the country together after the Civil War.
He wanted to carry out Lincoln's policy of kind and generous treatment of the defeated Confederate states. But he faced a Republican Congress controlled by men who were bent on punishing the South.
Congress passed a series of harsh laws over Johnson's vetoes. The feelings ran so strong that the House voted to impeach him.
There were 11 articles of impeachment. The first article was that he had violated the Tenure of Of fice Act. He had removed one of his cabinet members. The act, which Congress had just enacted, forbade the president to remove any of ficial without Senate approval if the appointment had been confirmed by the Senate. It was clearly an unconstitutional act. The House impeached Johnson on Feb. 24, 1868, by a vote of 128-47.
The trial in the Senate began on March 13, 1868. It would take 36 out of 54 votes to convict. The vote on the first article was taken on May 16, 1868. It was 19 against to 35 for, which meant that Johnson was acquitted by a margin of one vote. That courageous and critical vote was cast by Sen. Edmund Ross of Kansas. The Senate voted, by the same margins, on two other articles. No further votes were taken and the trial ended.
It is generally acknowledged today that the impeachment articles were weak. The Republican majority seemed more concerned with punishing Johnson than with justice or constitutional issues. Is history repeating itself?
JIM BEAL
Conway
An unimpressive record
Bill Clinton is ignorant. As soon as Judge Kenneth Starr got on his trail, he started running all over the world costing taxpayers billions of dollars. As far as I can see, he did not accomplish one thing.
Furthermore, he has 49 lawyers in the White House at the taxpayers' expense to crucify Starr, but Starr had the facts. All the lawyers had was a bunch of lies Clinton had told. So he got impeached.
It is an honor to the United States to have a man as qualified as Starr to force Clinton to tell part of the truth. I am thankful we had enough men in Congress to stand up for what was right and go by the book of law. Citizens should be proud of Rep. Asa Hutchinson for the stand he took.
I would like for someone to tell the world one good thing Clinton has done for the United States or Arkansas. I say get rid of that scum bug before he completely wrecks the United States plus the world.
CARTER HARRIS
Prescott
Democrats set standards
During the impeachment debates, the Democrats in the House came to the floor in near unanimity begging the majority to allow them to vote for a measure that declared the president of the United States personally "reprehensible and morally repugnant," but not removing him from office. At least now we know what the Democrats' minimum standard for president of the United States is--personally reprehensible and morally repugnant.
KARL T. KIMBALL
Little Rock
Some others to investigate
Since we are digging into the character and behavior of President Clinton, how about being fair and responsible and doing the same with others?
For instance, why was Robert Fiske replaced with Kenneth Starr as special prosecutor? Did Republican senators Jesse Helms and Lauch Faircloth of North Carolina have anything to do with it? Why doesn't the skeptical press look into this?
We have heard so much about the Republican Party not liking big government. Yet they seem to spend so much time on investigation, almost to the point of legislating morals. How deeply, if at all, should government get into legislating morals?
DEWEY BOELTER
Fairfield Bay
Strike on Iraq questioned
President Clinton, speaking to the nation from the Oval Office regarding the military strikes against Iraq, said he acted to protect the national interest of the United States and Iraq's neighbors in the Middle East.
I am inclined to question the veracity of his statement. Few are aware that U.N. inspectors, with Israeli help, broke the Iraqi code and were on the verge of a major breakthrough in uncovering concealed weaponry when the inspections were halted this past summer by the United States.
That's when Inspector Scott Ritter, an American, quit his job--out of pure frustration, he says, because, public hype to the contrary notwithstanding, he was personally disillusioned with the lack of U. S. support for the inspections program.
In his interview with the Israeli newspaper Ha'aretz, Ritter asserts that inspectors had broken Iraq's code for hiding missiles just before the inspections were stopped.
"We were down to where we knew when, where, how, why, who and what was happening. And that's why the frustration. . . And that's why what happened in July and August [when the U.S. halted inspections] was so frustrating. Because now that we have identified how they're doing it, and now that we get the kind of information we need on the timely basis we need, we're inside their decision-making cycle. We're reacting before Iraq can react."
In light of the Clinton administration's decision to halt U.N. inspections just prior to a major breakthrough in uncovering concealed weaponry, is it not reasonable to question the timing and reason for [current] military strikes?
BILL HOLMES JR.
Hardy
GOP is going to be sorry
The Republican Party is going to be very sorry it impeached the president. It's really going to backfire. I and many of my friends will never vote for another Republican. I voted for George Bush and was mad when Bill Clinton was voted president. I have always voted Republican, but I am ashamed of that party and the way it is bringing shame on this country.
All the Jerry Falwells are certainly not Christian; they are hypocrites and hate mongers.
They are certainly sinners. I hate to see them on "Rivera Live" and won't watch it. It's people like them bringing shame on this country. He who casts the first stone.
I don't condone what Bill Clinton did, but I think when he lied he was ashamed and was trying to protect his family.
Republicans better wake up [and] listen to the people who can vote them in or out. Let Clinton do what the people voted him to do, and that's to run this great country. Where is the forgiveness?
SANDRA KRUPCZNSKI
Paris
Where did true fans go?
Where have the true Razorback fans gone? I would love to know how they figure 19,400 fans were at the game against Memphis. I was there, and I don't believe it.
Not to mention that Wednesday night, when the Bud Bowl was really close to half empty. I can understand just a little people not wanting to drive from long distances during the week. But on the weekend?
I don't remember nearly half the seats being empty at any time in Barnhill unless there was a major ice storm or other inclement weather. Then the ushers allowed people in without tickets.
WHITNEY SMITH
Hindsville
Solution to the problem
I have the answer to the problems Jennings Osborne has had in lighting up his 22,000square-foot home. Install half the lights in July, while Christmas spirits are low, the other half in October. There won't be a traffic jam. If Osborne wants to play with toys, give him a break: Let him play with toys.
BENTON THOMAS
Jerusalem
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ACLU head short of compassion
Date: 1/7/99
Category: Editorial
Page: B7
JOHN R. STARR Valerie Thompson of Little Rock attacked Jennings Osborne (Voices Dec. 8) because he removed a manger scene from his holiday display when Rita Sklar, the single-minded Arkansas ACLU director, objected to it. Thompson blasted Osborne for having "so little compassion and peace to offer to anyone who will not embrace his narrow views."
Thompson seems blissfully unaware that Sklar has NO--repeat, no--compassion and peace for anyone who disagrees with her narrow views. Blissful unawareness is equal to blissful ignorance. I suspect that Thompson may also be without compassion, but I don't know her, so I can't say that is the case. Can you imagine the kind of hissy Thompson would have had if Osborne had done what he should have done and told Sklar to run past the end of a very short pier? I hope this unprovoked and unwarranted attack from the liberal lunatic fringe will not deter Osborne from making the holiday season merrier for many Arkansans. If a herd of Robinwood grinches didn't deter him, he should certainly be able to handle these two pipsqueaks.
No common sense
Like many of my critics, Robert H. Kain of Conway substituted cleverness for common sense in a Dec. 7 Voices letter in which he rebuked me for branding the Democratic Party as the one "that defends sodomizing interns in the White House." Kain says that according to everything he has read and heard about the Monica Lewinsky affair, sodomy did not occur. His dictionary does not define oral sex as sodomy, he says. He further complains because I used the plural ("sodomizing of interns") and asks if I can tell him how many interns have been sodomized. As far as we know, there has only been one. My dictionary, Webster's New World, defines sodomy as "any sexual intercourse held to be abnormal." That's good enough for me. If Kain wants to argue that the sexual relationship between Bill Clinton and Lewinsky is normal, he is free to do so. He will not find many supporters, not even among those who now regard oral sex as normal.
Unfit for presidency
Diane Hernandez (Voices, Dec. 4) seems to think that there was some connection with defeat of the Republicans in the November election and my leaving on a trip around the world. My departure was timed to coincide with the election, but reservations were made and tickets paid for while everyone was still predicting whopping Republican gains. In retrospect, Hernandez's comment about Republicans getting quiet seems a little silly. They got back into the game in time to impeach our boy Bill before they went home for Christmas.
I got back in time to watch the impeachment hearings and the historic vote to impeach. Needless to say, I was delighted to see the House put this stain on his biography, even though there is little hope that the Senate will do what it should do and remove him from office.
My position is unchanged since last summer. I don't quibble about whether he committed perjury. What we know about what he did makes him unfit for the presidency and he should be removed from office. Unfortunately, being unfit is not an impeachable office. Lying under oath is, but Clinton won't pay the proper price for that because of partisan politics.
No congrats to Broyles
Brett Jackson of Batesville (Voices Nov. 30) says Frank Broyles, the meddling athletic director, is due full credit for the Razorbacks' 9-2 season. Maybe. But old Frank had five bad years before Houston Nutt came along and Frank, at least temporarily, quit meddling. Congratulations to Nutt and the Razorbacks (but not to Broyles) for an excellent season. Even though I missed half of it.
A smart bet
Buddy Lott, a North Little Rock trucker, responds to John Brummett's suggestions that trucks should pay more road taxes by declaring that Brummett is "as dumb as a box of rocks." I suspect that Lott is dealing in hyperbole, although I doubt he knows the meaning of the word. However, if he really does think John is dumb, I'll give him as chance to make some money. I'll bet Lott $1,000 at even money that John is at least half again as smart as Lott is. Dumb is relative. During a long-ago meeting with David Broder, one of the better national columnists, we were discussing how Clinton could have been dumb enough to lose the 1980 gubernatorial race. An Arkansas Gazette employee blurted out, "Why, even John Robert will admit Clinton is smart."
"I admit nothing," I retorted. "How smart you think Clinton is depends on which side of the I.Q. scale you are looking at him from."
John R. Starr is the former managing editor of the Democrat-Gazette.
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